The first time someone tried to steal my bag in the subway I panicked and I broke his arm with an umbrella and since then none of my friends will let me forget about this.
If you think this was a badass moment you need to remember I’m 5 ft and my bag was a Lucky Star bag and I was crying while hitting someone much bigger than me repeatedly with a frog-shaped umbrella.
you are my hero
hot things to say during sex:
- aw man i shot marvin in the face
- silly caucasian girl likes to play with samurai swords
- you got two jobs; kiss good, and make sure my hair don’t get wet
- the d is silent
- [faking Italian with a southern accent] bon jorno
- BECAUSE IT’S SO MUCH FUN JAN
i really dont understand men that think its okay to grind up on girls randomly at clubs when they’re clearly trying to escape. like please.. i dont want you to rub your penis on me. yes i agree, this is a great song, but please, stop with the penis rubs. okay im gonna dance over here, oh for fucks sake, heres ol rubby penis mcgee again, back for attempt number 3